"When I was little I wanted to be... older"

Maybe ten or nine years ago, when I was still at elementary school, I used to think that being in high school was very far away. I longed to be older and more mature; I wanted to be treated as an adult. I used to dream all day about the years that were ahead of me, about the days when I would be a young adult ready to let go of my parents, ready to face the world, ready to be live free. Mother and father will always tell me “When you grow older, you will understand”, “You will be able to do so, when you are mature enough”, “You can’t because you are still a child”, this kind of things that they said to me where the phrases that made me want and desire to grow up faster. These were the words that reminded me that I was not ready, that I was not mature, and that I was still missing something. My mother seemed to enjoy how much I worried about growing up but she would kindly remind me that there was still a long way to go through until I became an adult like her. Meanwhile other adults kept talking to me about how important was my future, about the important decisions I would have to make, about the responsibilities I would have, about the important things I was going to be able to do, but I had to wait until we became older.  A child like me, could not do anything important or significant, if I wanted to do so then I needed to grow up.  I wonder how long it would take me to grow up, how long I will have to wait for my thoughts to be heard and for my actions to be recognized, how far away I was to be able to.  I needed to become an adult like mother to drive, I needed to become an adult like father to work, and I needed to become an adult to decide, to act, and to be something important.  Everything seemed to me like an adult’s world, wherever I was and wherever I went. For example when I was at the mall I couldn’t buy anything because I didn’t have any money, if I wanted to go somewhere or to do something I always had to ask for permission.  Sometimes I couldn’t do anything but feel pity of myself for being so little, so insignificant, so useless. I wanted to be someone who could create, someone who people would listen to, someone who society would take in account too, someone who had power and a voice of my own. Every now and then I remember how I used to feel when I was little and it seems to me that I was blind, that I only saw the good parts of being an adult, that I only saw the benefits. I never thought of the other things that meant being an adult. I never thought about the problems I would face, about the hardships, about the responsibilities of making my own decisions. I thought everything would be better, funnier, and easier and that I would have freedom, but today, every time I realize how close I am to become an adult I can’t see it as the way I used to do it before. Now I have realized that being and adults means more than just having fun. Now instead of wishing to become an adult faster, I wish to go back to those worriless, happy and shiny days from when I was a little girl. I guess it will always be the same for everyone whenever you are little you hope and dream of becoming older, but when you are an adult you desire and wish of going back to the old days. As for me now I still want to become older but I also want to stay being a teen.  I do not have a necessity to grow faster, nor I want to stay little forever, for now I want to enjoy every moment of my life as a teen, and when the time comes, to enjoy it as an adult.